Still riding the high of victory, you and your Band hit your favorite bar to celebrate. The bartender here knows you by name as well as drink. You slide onto a bar stool and tell him you want the usual. What does he bring you?


During a battle with a powerful demon, the evil creature uses its power to reach into your mind and find your greatest fear. He then uses that knowledge to trap you in the illusion of a living nightmare. What do you see?

I’m standing on an unstable surface and there are giant spiders swarming around me. Oh man, I’m a little freaked out just thinking about it.

After a long and difficult task, with the deaths of innocents and combatants alike in your wake, you have finally completed your quest. Instead of the typical pre-packaged reward, you are granted one wish. What do you wish for?

As stupid as it sounds, financial stability for the rest of my life. If I could just do what I want without worrying about working to pay my bills I’d be much happier.

During a heated encounter, a fallen angel engages you in battle and injures you severely. During your last conscious moments, you watch him lift his weapon over you to deliver the killing blow, and you catch a glimpse of what death holds for you. What do you see?

Nothingness. I’d rather believe that this is the life we have and that there isn’t anything glorious after this life. Its better to live now instead of waiting for some big eternal reward.

Between epic adventures, you hit the neighborhood Blockbuster to check out some of the movies that you missed in theaters, due to fighting horrible monsters. What genre of movie do you pick up?

Horror, suspense horror over shock value or gore. I want something that will linger after the movies over and not some idiot in a mask jumping out and yelling BOO!

Every hero has to have a place to hang their hat and just relax. Where do you go to just let off steam and calm down after a long day’s hero-ing, and why?

My sofa. When I want to relax I just don’t leave the house. I lock my doors, take off my pants, read a book or watch a movie.

You have a prophetic dream that your death is imminent, and nothing you do will change the fact that you are not long for this world. The only thing that remains is for you to choose the manner of your glorious and heroic death. How do you want to die?

Quietly in my sleep like my Grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Heroes need people that they can trust, but treachery and the evil are waiting for any opportunity. A Hero must be careful of who they call “friend” or “ally”. What is the one thing that you demand from people before you trust them?

Thick skin and a sense of humor. I can’t tolerate people who can’t take a jab or two about themselves or people who don’t know how to have a good laugh. If you’re going to cry when I call you fat, we can’t hang out.

Few heroes truly live forever, the spread of their epic tale notwithstanding. Would you prefer to have a long life of heroic deeds followed by a calm retirement where you fade into obscurity, or die in a blaze of glory?

The long life and obscurity. I really don’t care if I’m remembered forever as long as I’m remembered by someone while I’m still around. Plus, I want a nice calm retirement where I can yell at the damn kids to get off my lawn and stop playing stick ball… oh yeah, I’m going to be awesome when I’m old.

In one sentence, describe the relationship you have with your parents.

My parents are pure awesome and I don’t know how I could have made it this far in life with out them.

Sum up something about yourself with a single movie quote or song line.

So anyway, the girl was like: “Motherfucker you have a lotta walls, and you know, you don’t like show people shit.” Don’t mistake that, Don’t mistake that. You know, I just don’t like many fuckers. I haven’t met too many motherfuckers I like. You’re one of them… I hope that’s enough.

You’ve fallen on hard times. Money is tight, and you have enough left in your pocket to buy one meal today. Which meal do you buy, and why?

Dinner, I can deal with being hungry during the day but I can’t sleep on an empty stomach. Ideally, the dinner would be tacos. I fucking love me some tacos.

After a decent stint fighting off demons and fallen angels alike, you wind up in Hollywood as the front man for an up-and-coming band. What kind of music do you play?

A fully orchestrated metal band with punk rock roots that only does cover songs from other genres of music. Oh, and lots of vamping. I loves me some vamping.

Same scenario as above, but instead of becoming a musician you become a film star. What kind of movie do you star in as your first feature film?

A post-apocalyptic zombie survival mash-up features homages to Escape from New York, The Warriors, 28 Days Later, Mad Max… basically Doomsday 2.

Continuing the fame scenario, you are cast as a known superhero in an upcoming blockbuster film. Which superhero are you cast as?

I would hope for Lobo but odds are good I’d get cast as Aquaman or some bullshit.

Name three things in your pocket.

Droid X and my keys… Seriously, only two things in my pockets.

After a long night of just hanging out at home, you wake up the next day and turn on the TV. What channel is on as soon as you turn it on?

HDMI1 – Odds are good I was either playing xbox or watching netflix via my xbox before bed.

At the end of a 12-hour alcohol-soaked bender, you and your Band arrive at a tattoo parlor and decide to get inked up. What tattoo do you get, where, and why?

I really want to get the Dagger/Rose picture from the cover of Houses of the Blooded on the back of my left leg just below my knee. I fucking did that, so now I guess I’d finish up my circuit board. I don’t really have any plans for my next tattoo and I’d never get one without reason.

It is the end of the war between the Gods and the Satan, and your side (regardless of which side that is) is victorious. It is now time to divide up the spoils – and the spoils of this war is the world. Which region of earth do you demand to have dominion over, and why?

I’d want a small island or chain of islands down in the Caribbean. Someplace warm but nothing to massive that I’d actually have to worry about lording over.