D&D 3.5 – Brown Bear Swarm

 

Editors Note: I didn’t think it needed to be said, but some people just didn’t get it.
This is a joke.

Size/Type: Colossal Animal
Hit Dice: 6d8+24 (51 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+16
Attack: Claw +11 melee (1d8+8)
Full Attack: 2 claws +11 melee (1d8+8) and bite +6 melee (2d6+4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent, immune to weapon damage, swarm traits
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 27, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +4, Spot +7, Swim +12
Feats: Endurance, Run, Track
Environment: Cold forests
Organization: Solitary or pair
Challenge Rating: 4
Advancement: 7-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: —

Brown Bear Swarms are dense masses of large creatures that would not be particularly dangerous in small groups, but can be terrible foes when gathered in sufficient numbers. For game purposes a swarm is defined as a single creature with a space of 100 feet—gigantic hordes are actually composed of dozens of brown bears in close proximity. A Brown Bear Swarmshas a single pool of Hit Dice and hit points, a single initiative modifier, a single speed, and a single Armor Class. It makes saving throws as a single creature.

A swarm of Brown Bears consists of 300-10,000 bears. Larger swarms are represented by multiples of single swarms. A large swarm is completely shapeable, though it usually remains contiguous.

Combat
A brown bear swarm attacks mainly by tearing at opponents with its claws. In order to attack, a brown bear swarm moves into opponents’ spaces, which provokes an attack of opportunity. It can occupy the same space as a creature of any size, since it crawls all over its prey, but remains a creature with a 100-foot space. Brown bear swarms never make attacks of opportunity, but they can provoke attacks of opportunity.

Unlike other creatures with a 100-foot space, a brown bear swarm is shapeable. It can occupy any hundred contiguous squares, and it can squeeze through any space large enough to contain one of its component creatures.

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, a brown bear must hit with a claw attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Skills
A brown bear has a +4 racial bonus on Swim checks.

Vulnerabilities Of Swarms
Swarms are extremely difficult to fight with physical attacks. However, they have a few special vulnerabilities, as follows:

A lit torch swung as an improvised weapon deals 1d3 points of fire damage per hit.

A weapon with a special ability such as flaming or frost deals its full energy damage with each hit, even if the weapon’s normal damage can’t affect the swarm.

A lit lantern can be used as a thrown weapon, dealing 1d4 points of fire damage to all creatures in squares adjacent to where it breaks.